Hey Folks. I hope things have been great with you. As always, life has been super busy. However, many of you keep up with Julie and me through the blog and I have not had the time to write. As some of you know, I have left my previous position at the children’s home in search of the next great adventure. The children’s home was and still is very dear to my heart. However, the motivation and challenge of the position began to decrease through the last year. This was very evident to Julie and those that worked around me. I have a huge internal desire for new challenges and to help people in many ways and the position I had became engulfed in day to day regimes and repetitive things. Please don’t think I am a job hopper or a lay about kind of guy. I love to build and see positive ongoing changes around me. I am positive the children’s home will continue to thrive and provide great services to many people. However, it was time for me to move on. Julie is very supportive with this decision and we have entered this new chapter in our lives with an anticipated feeling of the upcoming things in store for us.

Since my last post, many things have happened. Some crazy things but mostly the bumps and adversity of life. Overall, we have had a wonderful ride and I am sure we will continue to do so. Sometimes we all need to take time to find our self again. That is the process that I face now. I want to become closer with God and find a newness with Him. Becoming closer to God dictates that we examine ourselves and purge out all the negative things and wrong doings. For years I hid behind the pulpit thundering out to others how to live their lives and somehow I overlooked my own spirituality. I don’t know about you but when we overlook our own spiritual needs, everything and everyone around us begins to suffer. Needless to say, Julie has endured alot this past year as I have adjusted to many changes. Being honest with myself has been the toughest challenge of my life, and believe me, I have been through some junk. I have made money and lost it all. I have had friends and lost them. I have had material things that were not necessities. But I have come to realize that all those things are way down on the list compared to true love and a closeness with God. I used to spend alot of time worrying about the things that I could not give Julie. Big expensive things that I felt were the frame work of love. However, Julie has helped me understand that her love for me is not based on those things. She told me the other day that she fell in love with the “real Tony” not the Tony that strives for material gain. You see, I spent most of my life providing material things to a relationship that had no hope of true love. In this type of relationship, you tend to tell people what you think they want to hear. Then you lose touch of your own personal reality. I can write first hand because that is exactly what happened to me. Then along came Julie. Her love for me demands honesty and humbleness. Those are two things that had been eroded from my life years ago. However, with her help and the prayers of others, I am finding myself.

So what is the scoop on me? The truth is, I am nothing. I can do alot of things but that don’t matter if the world around you has been built on sandy ground. My relationship and marriage to Julie has added a firmness to my foundation that I was not ready for. In her quiet way, she has been encouraging me to have a deeper spiritual life with God but I was too busy using the Bible to justify my past and current life. I have realized that God’s word is not to be used to justify but to glorify Him and cleanse our heart of our own impurities. Julie has been patient. I am sure that sometimes she wanted to walk away but she stayed. We all have our faults but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am the chiefest of all sinners.

My children are still distant from us and other things are continuing to try to infiltrate our life. But, my children are adults and their issues are no longer mine. The things that are trying to infiltrate our life are temporary things and will soon pass away. I have two major priorities. Number one is finding myself with a newness with God and number two is being the best husband and love to Julie as I can. Some may say why is Julie not first? The answer is simple. If we keep God first, He will guide us to a deeper love and oneness with those we love the most. God knows that I love Julie more than anything in this world and He is making me a better man for it.

Best to all, Tony