The Hippie and the Preach

I remember one time I was preaching revival meeting with a preacher. The revival was in a small country church here in East Tennessee. It was a typical meeting. It lasted for 11 days and the congregation got wilder and wilder each night. The church had a capacity of around 130 people. However, by the third night, we had to set out chairs and raise all the windows to meet the growing number of people. The people that could not get in would set outside and listen. The preacher, I was preaching with, delivered a sermon entitled, ‘God is in the shadows’. He thundered about how God waits in the shadows for us to make decisions in our lives that would impact ourselves and our families. Of course, the people would get all fired up in the spirit of emotion and would run the isles and jump the pews of this small church. I enjoyed this revival completely as many people came to know the Lord and the believers seemed to grow closer to Him. However, through the years I have disected that message in my mind and study of Gods Word. I understand what the preacher was trying to say. However, during the past year of my life, I have realized that God is not waiting on us. He is holding us near to Him all the time. Some would say that God travels in and out of our lives like a carpet bagger on a journey from town to town and He seizes opportunities to grind us under His thumb of chastisement and punishment so we can learn more about ourselves and fear him at a terror filled level. I used to think and live that way. But, during this past year, I have had days where I have felt very far from God and I have had days where He seems so close I can feel his breath of peace as it blows on my life. Through this past year, God has shown me that He is the sustainer of my life regardless of my past mistakes and my future ones. I have lost many people that I thought were my friends during the last year. They could not understand why I moved away and married Julie. Many said I was making the most serious mistake they had ever seen. But God had a plan. Things just don’t happen. Before Julie and I were ever born, God knew we would be the perfect couple. He set the avenues of our lives so our paths would cross. Many times I could not understand why things in my life would go in a much different direction than I had planned but God was gently leading me to the love that He knew He had placed in my heart for Julie. I look back over all the twists and turns that were very frustrating and I now know that all these twists and turns was a straight path to His plan. He took an undeserving man and gave him the most precious gift. Unconditional love.

God is in the shadows? No. We definitley live in His.

Have the most blessed night ever.  Tony

Hello again!

As Julie said in her blog, it has been very busy as always. But today Julie fixed blueberry pancakes and duck eggs for breakfast then we went to church and have done absolutely nothing else. Our coming week will be busy and it feels good to slow down a few gears and enjoy a relaxing day. It is hard to believe that we have been married for almost a year. I can say that it has been the best year of my life. Even through the challenges we have faced with my kids and the other crazy things, we have learned not absorb these into our relationship. When we got married on the beach in Charleston, Julie and I made a life long commitment to each other and we are going to honor that commitment.

Anyway, we had a wonderful Father’s day and Julie treated me like a king. She ordered some of the special massage rocks that you heat up in water and use them in the massage process. Of course I had never heard of this type of massage but believe me, it is wonderful. As Julie said in her blog, we have our house for sale. We are looking for a mini farm (5 - 10) acres to move the horse to and also to get another horse. I have three goats at my fathers house and they recently got into his garden and ate the whole thing. Needless to say he wants me to come get the goats. Also, my dog Scotch, a big golden retriever, is also at my dad’s. So we are looking for a place to accommodate all the animals and a few more. We also want to have a huge garden. We are determined to continue to cut down on our dependence of buying everything at the store. We are excited about moving toward a more self sustaining life. 

Sorry for the short post. Just wanted to bring you up to date.  Have a great day. Tony 

It seems that everyone is searching for ways to decrease their spending in a time of high consumer prices that is dominated by the ever rising price of oil. My own daily commute is expensive and I see more and more motorcycles and other means or cost cutting transportation on the road. I spoke with my book keeper today who was reminiscing about the good ole days when gas was 25 cents per gallon. I have never enjoyed that price but I can remember gas being 79 cents per gallon when I was a child. In speaking with the older population, they say that the cost of living and inflated cost of the products needed to live have increased dramatically in the last 30 years. One older person stated that at the end of the sixties “the dam broke” and folks could see the inflation meter rising. We live in a society that needs to redefine the “products needed to live.” If we truly think about it, most of our modern conveniences is the root of the higher cost of living. We live in the technological age of faster computers and bigger engines. We also enjoy leisure and expensive forms of play. However, Julie and I have talked about the simple life and how it really would not take alot of change to adjust our life to be more green and less intrusive on the environment while bringing our cost of living down. She has researched the idea of purchasing electric scooters that have no emissions and we have discussed how we can purchase vehicles for which we can make our own fuel. I would equate America’s oil dependency to a person that chooses to be overweight. No one really chooses to be that way. But, over time and poor consumption habits, it just happens. Before you know it, we feel that we can not live without the Big Mac or the Taco Bell. However, a good diet is a choice that can become a habit. The same with oil consumption and America. We have gorged too long on oil and have become grossly dependent on its use in our lives. However, there are handfuls of Americans all over the country that have proven green, sustainable living can be achieved. You do not have to have a hippy mind frame to do it. Anyone can change their habits. Regardless of what it is. If one American at a time would decide to cut their total oil consumption by 25%, we would see a change. We must remember that oil is the base for many products that we don’t even think  of.  Gasoline is expected to top $6.00 per gallon by the end of the summer. Something must shake our attention. Crime in the bigger cities is on the rise and this will eventually visit our neck of the woods.

We must remember that food, clothing and shelter are our basic needs and nowhere in that equasion is a barrel of oil. In the book of Genesis, God looked upon the finished creation and saw that “it was good.” There wasn’t an oil well in site. We can have just as much fun and completion of personal life while withdrawing from oil usage and we would feel better for it. 

Have a great day!   Tony

Hey folks. It seems it has been forever since I had the time to write. Many things have happened since I last posted. I can’t detail all of the happenings but it has been a rockn’ ride! Julie and I continue to do well as our love grows more and more. I know I have written in the past about how consumed I am with my love for Julie. But I wanted to share this with you then I will go on to other things and updates. Julie and I recently went on a trip to New Mexico. We had a wonderful time and were able to see many sites and beautiful scenery that God has created for us to enjoy. There were snow capped mountains, beautiful desert, the Rio Grande river and gorge and many other beautiful sites to see. I have seen the Grand Canyon and the lights of Las Vegas. I have been blessed to travel from East to West in our great nation. I have also been to Canada and the Keys. But there is one  site in particular that I enjoy the most. This site is without a doubt the most beautiful that has been created by the Lord. It is breathtaking at every vantage point and it is a site that I know I would never get tired of viewing. I don’t have to look any further than in the eyes of Julie. She is by far the most beautiful thing that I have seen or ever will see. I no longer have to dream of climbing Everest or seeing the rain forests or the giant Redwood trees to recognise the beauty that God wants us to see. He provides all the beauty and powerful presentation of His love each day I wake up beside her. All the other sites of this world are second best and counted as a benefit. I know I am more blessed than anyone else in the world to be able to live with and love Julie. She has become my peace in the storm of life.

As I said earlier, New Mexico was wonderful! We had a fabulous time! Thanks to Julie’s dad for allowing us to visit and stay in his beautiful condo. The mountain view from the patio is unsurpassed. We enjoyed the local foods and was able to have a great dinner at a restaurant called the Steak Out. It was situated on a hill overlooking the valley. We were there at sunset and it was spectacular. We visited the Indian reservation and saw most of the local sites. We were in definite need of some time away from the rat race of our life. As most of you know, Julie and I are completely in love with each other. However, the Bible teaches us that wherever love is, evil is present. That is very true as evil has continually pursued almost relentlessly since Julie and I got married. Sometimes we have fed into it but have been able to recognise that and our love has always come out on top. We have commited to each other to hold on tight through adversity and wrap ourselves deeper in the passion that we have for one another. My kids are still somewhat resistant but that is their choice. My kids have their own life to live and it is Julie that I will grow old with. Julie is my treasure that has purchased my heart and we will face life and circumstance hand in hand.

SKUNK UPDATE: As you know, Julie and I were skunked a few weeks ago by Lucy our 13 year old pup. Someone (me, but I will never admit it) left the garage door up during the night and Lucy went on an adventure and came back in smelling like a raw skunk. She rolled all over our carpet and brushed up against the furniture. We have done everything possible to get the smell out but it will just have to wear out. It is not as bad now as it was. However, I am getting used to the name PePe. But if I could communicate how bad the smell was I guess I would say it is equivelent to the devil roasting rotting mule flesh in the seventh circle of hell. However, Julie and I are making the best of it. We have made it through resistant children, aggravating X’s, hip replacement, blending lives, losing the pup and the other things that tend to present themselves. Considering all the challenges we have faced, this is just another day in the life of Julie and Tony. However, our love will help us laugh through all adversity and we will be stronger for it.

Have a great day.  Tony  

Hey folks and welcome back to the blog. I have not had the time to write for awhile and I have missed it. So much has and is changing in the world around us and uncertainty seems to be in the wind from every direction. I work with children and families every day in a therapeutic environment and let me tell you, times are hard. I spoke with a family the other day that would range in the middle class category as far as salary and income is concerned. They have two children and the average expenses that a normal family has. However, they are being forced to make a choice between medical treatment for their children and having enough gas money to get to work. Last night as I filled my truck up at the gas station, a older lady who appeared to be in her late sixties put three dollars of gas in her car. She was talking to herself and hoping in despair that this would be enough to get her to the grocery store and back home. I struck up a small conversation with her and she shared with me that her husband had died 7 years ago and his retirement and her social security used to be enough to sustain her. He left her with a lot of medical bills and financial commitments. Needless to say I made sure she had enough gas to get to where she needed to go and beyond. However, our nation is to the point where the middle class and under are suffering in a tremendous way and the upper class is aware of tough times but can’t understand what it is like to worry about the next meal and now how to pay for the next drop of gas. We are exhausting our national efforts and resources on a war that no one will win. Our natural resources are being consumed by a thirsty society that has built a new foundation that has shifted to greed and slavery. Yes, I said slavery. We are a slave to the oil companies and their constant control of our country. Gas prices rise and we buy more. The quarterly earnings of the oil companies are up accross the board but we turn a deaf ear and a blinded eye to the big picture. We are killing our planet and ultimatley our diverse cultures. Our nation has the ability to kick the oil habit but unfortunately our current oil driven administration has primed our country to consume more oil and at an unsurpased rate. The oil dripping pockets of the White House run deep into our local governments and the little man feels helpless against the struggle. I am a republican but maybe President Obama can bring some positive change to the Washington rule that will find its way down to the common man. Frankly, we were stupid to put an oil man in the White House. We should have saw this coming.

On to other things, I am madly in love with my wife. Sure, we have our ups and downs but love always comes out on top. I am now to the point where all former things in my life are a vague memory and it feels that I have been with Julie all my life. We already act like an old married couple and she not only completes my sentences, she completes my life. We were able to meet Julie’s dad, step mom and grandmother for dinner this past weekend and they came over to our house afterward. We had a wonderful time and I got to spend quite some time getting better acquainted  with her dad.  Overall….Its all good. As they say.

Have a great day and don’t be depressed. Life is a challenge so challenge life!     Tony 

Hey folks. I have not had time to write for awhile and I apologize for that. Julie and I have been busy with life as usual. I won’t go into all the things that have been going on but I can say that we are still very happy and fall in love more each day. We went camping last weekend at Dale Hollow lake and had a wonderful time. We didn’t run around much and focused on relaxing. We read, ate, played cards and just enjoyed being with each other. I can honestly say that I would rather spend time with Julie than do anything else. as our life continues to blend, we are becoming more and more comfortable with each other. As most of you know, we got married pretty quickly and even though we knew each other for three and a half years, we had not lived togther. But things are going well.

A few entries ago, I wrote about my frustrations regarding my children’s acceptance of our marriage and the other obstacles we have faced. I am happy to say that things have calmed down and my daughter, who will be 23 in August, appears to be coming around to the fact that I am happier now than I have ever been. My daughter and I have managed to have lunch together once a week for a month. This has been a precious time and I have been very upfront with her about my future with Julie. She has started asking how Julie is and what we have been doing. My daughter is moving to Orlando next week for the summer and Julie and I are going to try to have dinner with her before she leaves. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support through these changes and challenges in our life. Your comments of support has been a ray of light through the sometimes dismal outlook. Thanks especially to a very special aunt, Mary Lee, for her email of encouragement. Julie and I got to visit her and her husband Al in their home a few months back and we enjoyed it tremendously.  

Julie is in the kitchen making one of my favorite dishes, stuffed bell peppers. She is a wonderful cook and she is always asking me what I would like to eat or what she can do for me. Since Julie came into my life, I have been the happiest man that has ever lived. The Bible tells us in one place, ’Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gifts.’ I understand that more now than I ever have. Sorry for the short entry but I will write more soon. Hope all is well with you all.    Tony 

I hope all is well with you. I often write about the powerful love that Julie and I share. I guess that many of you get tired of reading another blog entry about how crazy I am about Julie. If you are in that category, I guess you better get used to it or tune in to another blog that you would enjoy better! I have many years to catch up on with the true love of my life and there are not enough words to express or explain how things came to be and how deep our love is for each other. Yesterday after church, we spent the afternoon together wrapped up in each other on the couch. The race was on and I switched between it and another program that had caught my interest. Julie lay in my arms napping.  As she lay sleeping, my thoughts turned to how our relationship began in a professional way and evolved into a life long, deep relationship that is full of love and admiration for each other. I followed the curves of her face with my hand and thought how truly blessed I am to be able to spend the rest of my life with my best friend, the person I love and the one I trust the most. Many people spend a life time filled with exhaustive searches through relationships and encounters to find what they feel is the perfect love only to watch that love dissolve under the shadow of mistrust and lust. As for Julie and I, we have found what God intended for us to have. We found each other. Our transition has not been the easiest but it has been the most challenging and full-filling thing that I have ever encountered. We both are so much alike and that is where our passion lies. As she lay sleeping, I looked at her closed eyes and wondered how many times those eyes had cried for someone to fill the lonely space in her heart. I was there in the shadows all along searching to fill the same loneliness of heart. I looked at her beautiful face and wondered why on earth a lady like this would even give me the time of day. I ran my fingers through her beautiful hair and wished that I could go back in time twenty five years to a place that I could hold her and rescue the both of us from years of loneliness and wondering if there was really anyone out there somewhere that would fill the vastness of our empty hearts. As she lay sleeping, the question was answered if an angel could be caught by the hand of man. I don’t know how, but it happened.

As you can tell, I am absolutely lost in love. I am not some type of sappy, crazy guy. I don’t mind to admit that I have never been in love before Julie and I just can’t seem to stop talking about it. A coworker asked me today for my opinion. He asked if I would leave the best job in the world for love. I told him I would leave the best job in the world for the best life in the world. Love makes a difference. I would leave all I know to follow it. Julie and I should know. That’s what we did.

As she lay sleeping, I drifted off to sleep knowing I would never have to dream about true love again.

My best to all, Tony  

We were very blessed to spend part of Easter weekend with our niece. She is a complete joy to be with. As you can see from the picture, she is full of life and ideas. She already proclaims that she is the smartest girl in the world. The picture was taken at our church. We took her to the Easter egg hunt and we all had a great time. Julie is wonderful with children and our niece loves Julie very much. Of course, with a child in the house things tend to speed up quite a bit. This was my first Easter with Julie and I could not ask for a better wife and a better life. Our lives are continuing to melt together like cheese on an old fashion hamburger. For the first time in many years, I can’t wait to get home at night. What can I say? Life is good and I’ll take an old fashion cheeseburger anytime!

Take care, Tony 

Isn’t my husband the sweetest man on the earth?  I don’t do many entries on this blog, like I should, but he does well by us with his entries. It’s hard to match his writing and sentiment, he has a way with a yarn and a word and verse or two. I guess that is why he’s a great manager at his workplace and is a wonderful pastor, even if he not practicing at church today. I know it’s his calling and he will be in the pulpit soon. He is already a leader in our church and has been asked for lots of involvement. They see his great potential.  But beyond all that, he is a great husband.  He champions for our relationship in very difficult situations, such as with his kids and family and the ex (who wants us to fail so badly I think she thinks daily upon it, she once told me on one of her many ‘kind’ phone calls she wakes up thinking of how to bring us down)…Second marriages later in life with lots of drama and situations around you can be trying, but we love each other so tremendously and do have some wonderful support, that we keep on the upside of things always. And I’m so proud of Tony and the steps he has made, painful they may be, to cut out any negative interference in our lives.  He is the great love of my life that God has blessed me with and I wake up each day knowing my life is finally at it’s ‘home’.  I adore my husband and feel so loved, cherished, honored and adored.  He gets me flowers each week, he rubs my back, he calls me all day long b/c we miss each other just being at work.  He’s a great man and I admire him tremendously. I recall many years ago, a dear friend of mine said to me, ‘what is important about your mate is that you admire them’.. and now I know why that is so important.  Tony gives his all to change the lives of children that have lived terribly damaged lives, he cares greatly about his spiritual life, and would help anyone that would ask or if he sees a need.  He is so smart as well, he can figure numbers like no one I’ve ever met and there is nothing he can’t work on, fix or do,, cars, houses, building, you name it.  He is a self taught man who can take care of any situation.  What comfort that is, knowing I have someone in my life that handle, fix or sort out anything that comes down our road and with such love for me.  And he helps and challenges me to be a better person, to help more in the world, question my own motives and thoughts at times, and to be more spiritually focused. 

I just wanted to talk a bit about my love for him, since he’ been so generous about his words of love for me.  He is my everything and I am blessed…. love, love…..

Hey folks. welcome back.

I want to thank those friends, family and those that pass by for viewing and commenting on the blog. As I have said earlier, I had no clue what a blog was until I was educated by my beautiful wife. I have and will continue to enjoy writing on the blog and reviewing your comments.

I like to communicate with you all of the great things about Julie. Of course you can tell that I am completely smitten with her. She is the exclamation point to my life. Today I want to talk to you about patience. Patience is a gift that some people have and it is an earned treasure by those who develop it through the years. As always, I want to talk about my Julie and patience. It may surprise some of you that I would use the name Julie and the word patience in the same sentence. If that is true, I don’t know the Julie that you know. She has been very patient through our first year together and believe me, I know it has not been easy. It seems that we continually battle things that try to destroy our love and dedication to each other. But I want to make a firm statement mingled with a question regarding that. How can a love that has been given to two people by God be destroyed by any force of man? Love is the most powerful force this world will ever know. It has moved mountains in the lives of many people. I can say that from personal experience. I am not the man I used to be before Julie. I am a much better man with a different more healthy view of life and respect for others. Back to Julie and patience. She has been very patient through my changes and difficulties. I have two children from my previous marriage. My daughter is twenty two and my son just turned twenty one. It seems there is always something stressing going on with the kids as they learn to live life on their own. I am a father who gave them every desire. All of the material things they wanted and they became accustomed to that type life style. They can not get used to the idea of Julie and I being together and they become more consistantly resistant. Of course we are influenced most by the environment around us. My daughter lives with my exwife and my son lives near them. They hear constant negativity in that environment and it fuels their decision not to spend time with julie and me. Julie and I are hurt by this as we invite them to our home all the time. Many times people harbor anger, misunderstanding and bitterness all their life and that makes an old bitter person that can not love because they can not love themselves. They spend life in empty relationships or no relationships at all. This bitterness has infiltrated my children and the results of that has been very painful for the both of us.

I fed in to the distancing of my children for a long time. I was afraid that I would lose their love and their respect as their father. I finally realized that I will always be their father and I was losing their respect by not responding to their hurtful actions. There comes a time when you just can’t turn aside and hope things go away. It’s just like the line from one of our favorite movies; “You’ve got to get busy living or get busy dying.” As for me, its time to live. It seems my children and exwife have been waiting for the news that Julie and I are calling it quits. At times, the emotional pain and struggle has been unbearable but somehow Julie has found the patience to get us through. I am finally happy and living a dream I thought I could never have and I will not let anyone who doesn’t understand the value of true love come between me and the best life I have ever lived. I have been able to make all of these changes while standing under the shadow of Julie’s patience. She has given her opinion and support along the way with understanding. Why does she do this? The answer is unconditional love.

 I want to make some statements to to all of you that know Julie and all of you that know me. Julie and I are here to stay. Our love is stronger than anyone could ever imagine and we will not let external things come between us and the life we share. Some people need to grasp the understanding that we are meant to be and we are going to embrace all that God has for us. Folks just need to move on with their life and stop waiting around for the shoe to drop just to be able to say I told you so. If anyone is waiting for Julie and I to fail, you better fasten your seat belt and hold on. Its going to be a long ride. 

Some people give up their dreams to follow a life of misery that is led and demanded by others. Call me selfish but I’ll take the dream. 

Take care and God bless.  Tony